Sure, I’ll tell you…

Happy Holidays! Wishing you joy and happiness for this holiday season. Lots of love always.

the difference

I haven’t written in English in a while.  I’ve somehow managed to engross myself in speaking and writing Chinese.  There isn’t a particular reason, but it’s interesting, right?

My Chinese TA told me that I was the happiest person he knew.  I looked at him peculiarly and he proceeded to ask me if I ever cry.  It made me feel oddly self-conscious because I obviously do cry.  To ease the tension I asked my so-called cousin, “So, do I ever cry?”  She answered him by saying that I am just always just a happy person.  Wow, biggest mistake ever.  He continued to pry about my emotions which made me feel very uncomfortable.  He asked if someone ever made me sad.  I responded by saying I wasn’t sad at the moment.  He asked if I was just particularly lucky that no one ever made me sad.  I said I didn’t know.  He said that it wasn’t a good thing to be happy all the time because if something ever made me sad, I’d jump off a building.

Honestly, I am glad that he takes notice to my happiness, but I am also a bit disappointed that he does not realize there’s more to a person than his or her appearance.  Clearly, if you know me well, I am far from being the happiest person you know.  I admit it.

I have my share of happy times, sad times, angry times, … you catch my drift.

我不觉得

这个学期很奇怪。 不知道应该怎么说。  我认识了好多新人，好多都是外国学生。 有几个是大二的学生。 我很喜欢他们。

昨天我去了我中文TA的办公时间做那个对话。 我们做完的时候他跟我说，”回家吧！不要浪费我的时间。不要浪费你自己的时间。” 我在想，为什么你会觉得我可以说普通话呢？我本来就是广东人加上我是美国出生的。 我明白有很多美国出生的人都可以说中文，但是，是不是很多呢？ 我不知道我做了什么令你觉得我可以白分之百说普通话， 因为我不可以所以我不觉得我上这个中文课是浪费我的时间。

我在初中学过拉丁文也学过法文。 在高中的时候我学过西班牙文。 我第一种语就是广东话然后是台山话。 最后是英文。

请你不要跟我说我在浪费我的时间。 谢谢。

Jumble of Rants

1. Loud typers. Why is it that some people sound like they’re literally pounding the keyboard? I mean, I totally understand that some keyboards are naturally louder than others, but, seriously, a clunk sound? Way too loud for my state of being, better known as SLEEPING. Sounds like loud typing really disturbs my sleep. IT REALLY DISTURBS MY SLEEP!
2. Loud chewers. You freaking bother me, too. Goodness, chewing is a huge part of digestion, but sound effects are definitely optional. Hell, it’s absolutely fine if you do it in public with tons of people around, but in the middle of the night, while I’m SLEEPING. All I hear is that “pt” sound. SIGH.
3. I attract weird guys, but they do not attract me. I’ll elaborate on this in a few.
4. Back to ranting about my roommate. “I think you should totally take that EIGHT AM Chinese class everyday. You know, maybe, you could indirectly force us to sleep earlier, so we’re not nocturnal.” Wow. Thanks for telling me to put myself through the biggest misery in my life? Today is the best example. I slept at 12, midnight. Guess what I wake up to? Loud typing, loud chewing, and incessant mouse clicking, etc. I refuse to take that class based on your suggestion.

Back to attracting weird guys…let’s call them…

• AR. I don’t want to make out with you when you’re shitfaced. I don’t NEED you to buy me dinner, however, if you really felt like it, sure, I’ll take the offer. I don’t really want to study with you in your room at night.
• YW. Thanks for all the compliments, but please get the drift that I do NOT bring a red pen to class and nor do I even own one. It’s the 5th time in the semester you’ve asked me and every single time I’ve said NO. Ask someone else! P.S. I’m not fluent in Mandarin!
• TL. Maybe you’re not a guy, but please don’t be attracted to me. I’ll break your heart… really quickly because I can’t freaking stand dating a girl. The thought of it repulses me, a lot because you are so needy. I’m not the person that is willing to take care of you… even as a friend, I get so frustrated when you expect me to do so. Like in my past entry, I’m not here to baby you. Again, I refuse to.

If you are…

My friend, then you are my friend. I refuse to baby you. I am willing to help you in any way I can, but I am not willing to do exactly what you need to do. How can you expect me to help you think of questions for your job interview? It would be a different story if you made up the questions and asked me to review them. Argh.

And if you’re asking me to edit a paper or anything written, don’t say stuff like, “Why are you so picky about my writing?” If you can’t take the suggestions lightly, then don’t ask me to edit your work.

Don’t ask me to buy stuff for you at the market when you can’t do the same for me.

Change don’t to please refrain.

Please refrain from using me, before I do the exact same.

Song

Doesn’t matter whom you are with

Doesn’t matter where you are going

Don’t you know I’m still waiting here for you…

… and pray for you

In the sunny days…

… sun will light your day

In the windy days…

… wind will lead your way

I have to say…

… you’re my treasure moments

… never gonna walk away

In the rainy days…

… rain will shed my tears

In the stormy days…

… storms will steal my pain

Just go your way and leave things all behind

Spread your wings and fly away

I’m pretending you’re mine and wishing you’ll be fine

The moments we share never die

You’ve made a difference to my life…

and let me realize the feeling I’ve got deep inside

Empty

I wish I could say that you mean nothing to me.

Your Turn to Shine

Live and enjoy the present.

^__^v

Nostalgia

because everyone feels nostalgic once in a while.

Can we go back to the swings, seesaws, and slides at the playground? How about the jump rope, tic tac toe on the ground with chalk, and hop skotch?

Can we go back to the weekend sleepovers, four hour phone conversations, pranks galore, and Santa Claus at Macy’s? How about stickers, pretty stationary, and colorful pens?

I take a lot of things in life for granted – it’s true. Mainly all my memories of holidays at home.

Sunday was the Mid Autumn Festival. I want to light a lantern again.

I Know We Don’t Belong

It’s the good things that keep us going in life, always.

I am a content, a more than content, person.

I love my family, my roommates, my friends, and myself.

There is no such thing as, “Where have you been my whole life?”

However, there does exist, “Please don’t leave me.” Not out of neediness, not out of selfishness, but perhaps out of “I want you to be in my life because you’re worth something… to me.”

Does that make sense to you?